‘I’m still in my search for God. Sometimes I feel a bit standing still though.’ I wonder how many of us can relate to my friend’s words. It encourages me to write because I know there are thousands going through the motions and trying hard to feel good and forget about situations and life. I want to encourage you to think. Mainly for those who have found God in the past and have been in the presence of the Spirit previously but somehow at some point you haven’t been as close as you would have liked and you’ve drifted away.
My advice is to not give up; when it happens to me, I tend to look back on the highs of my relationship with God and ask myself if I’m willing to settle on just remembering past experiences. But I know there is much more than that because God wants to give us more. And honestly, I’m not willing to give up on the opportunity of having more. God is good, he’s got our best interests at heart. He doesn’t want to punish us; He doesn’t want to make this life a struggle. In fact, He wants to protect us and take all our struggles and pain for Himself, for He is perfect.
In my experience Jesus longs to be with us, to have real conversations and share His heart with us. He planned our coming into the world and knit us together in our mother’s womb. He made every complexity and detail of us.
The fall (Adam and Eve eating the apple) doesn’t only change the perfection of our relationship with God but also with those around us and ourselves. We are not the perfect humans God once created us to be. Due to the Fall, sin is now a part of all of us. Therefore, Jesus had to come and direct us back to the Father who knows every single part of our being. He had to come and change the parts that the Fall corrupted, the parts we are ashamed to display and to bring us back to that amazing relationship we once had with Abba Father.
From the moment you are willing to give your heart and everything you are to God He will begin a transformation process in you that you can neither explain or deny.
As I expressed before, this isn’t a honeymoon relationship. It’s not always fairies and magic and for some people there may be just as many lows as there are highs. But that is not a reason to walk away and forget about Jesus and what He has done for mankind.
I want to stay in the topic of feeling hopeless because I know that everyone has those days. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that people don’t; likewise, I’m not going to say that it’s going to be like that forever. I watched a movie the other day and someone said that just because you go down a dark and hard road doesn’t mean it’s the end of the road. There is still time to change, whether you’re 20, 30 or even 70.
It’s okay to feel hopeless and exhausted; if we didn’t feel the struggle and tug, then we wouldn’t need Jesus as we would be living in Paradise. What I said before about not giving up is vital, when you go to work and have a rubbish day, you don’t decide to quit, maybe it’s because you love it, or maybe you need the money. Nevertheless, you don’t give up. I love cooking; the other day I made some Yorkshire puddings and I was so eager and excited to make them the best. When they finally came out of the oven, they looked like pancakes! They were the worst Yorkshire puddings I’ve seen let alone made; I remembered afterwards that I forgot one key ingredient, the eggs!
To give up would be ridiculous just because one thing fails or goes wrong in your mind doesn’t mean that your life is destined to fail. If that would be so, we would all be destined for gloom.
Right now you may be feeling a little like dried yeast, maybe you’ve put your all into God and nothing is happening, nothing is changing, in fact you feel more away from God the more you try to get close to him. I don’t know the answers to why you may sometimes feel abandoned, but I can tell you for a fact that you are not alone. Not only are there others going through it but also God Himself has been through it, and when your heart is breaking His is breaking ten thousand times more for you.
The thing with dried yeast is that on its own it’s pretty lame, it can’t really do much can it? Once it’s been added to other ingredients it makes those ingredients and itself blossom. But without the yeast that bake will turn out a little like my Yorkshire puddings, flat, tasteless, and only attracted to the bin.
Do you see where I’m going with this? I’m not saying you are tasteless and flat! I’m saying that when you work with God you blossom. Our strength isn’t found in our bodies, our strength is found in the Cross, which means His pain, His heartache, His struggle, His humility. Ultimately, it’s found in His victory. It took for Jesus to face the ultimate penalty of death so that you can have this very soul quenching relationship. This is the only way to freedom and pure relationships, with others, God, and yourself.
‘But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect —life in its fullness until you overflow!’ John: 10-10 TPT